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if you’re gonna make me the third wheel on the sidewalk at least let me stand in front so i can pretend i’m leading my army into battle

johnquincyadams:

my friend just posted this on his fb i’m crying

Period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
Period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
Period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
Period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
Period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen? 
Period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
Period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
Period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
Period: Yell at a puppy.

iammrsbrucewayne:

snorlaxlovesme:

so i cleared my throat today and

and then someone poked me in the side so I laughed

and THEN I FUCKING SNEEZED

and that’s what it’s like being on the second day of your period

i hope this has been educational

giggling so much this is so accurate why couldn’t I be a man??!!

OMG

ccc0urtney:

rlmjob:

crowpse:

I DIDN’T FINDTHE TUMBLR BUT I FOUND “PRETTY GIRLS MAKING UGLY FACES” AND I WAS CRYING ON THE BUS I WAS LAUGHING SO AHRD

i think this is my favorite post of all time

OMG

meido:

washing your boobs is the most fun part of showering by far because when they are soapy they are so slippery and soft and it is the greatest form of entertainment

wecameassickcunts:

do you just stare at someone’s lips & get a massive urge to just make out with them.

sodamnrelatable:

What if when you die, you wake up as an alien and your alien friend comes up to you and says “dude you’ve been tripping balls for like 5 minutes”